How Can I Rebuild Trust After He Lied?

Question: My boyfriend lied to me about something important, but he apologized. How can we rebuild trust, or is it better to move on?

Alan’s Advice: Trust takes years to build and about five seconds to break. I’ve been married for over 20 years, and I can tell you—everyone messes up sometimes.

The big question is, does he really own up to it, or is he just sorry he got caught? 🤔

An honest apology is a good start, but talk is cheap. What matters is whether he changes his behavior and proves you can count on him.

Watch what he does, not just what he says. Rebuilding trust takes time and a lot of consistency—there’s no fast-forward button.

If you find yourself always checking his phone, worrying, or replaying what happened, it’s a sign you still don’t feel safe. That’s normal for a while, but if it drags on and he’s not making any effort, don’t force yourself to stay.

Set clear boundaries about what you need to feel secure. If he’s serious, he’ll respect that and put in the work. If not, it may be time to ask yourself if this relationship is worth saving.

Trust should be rebuilt together—not left for you to fix alone. 🛠️