Should I Stay Friends With My Ex?

Question: I recently broke up with my boyfriend, but he wants to stay friends. Is that a good idea?

Alan’s Advice: This is a super common question, and honestly, it makes sense to feel torn about it.

After a breakup, it’s usually best to give yourself some distance so you can process everything and let those feelings settle.

Trying to jump straight into being friends can get messy, especially if either of you still has romantic feelings or he is just wanting to use you for something more.

True friendship is possible down the road, but only if both of you have moved on and there aren’t any mixed signals.

Here’s what you need to ask yourself: Does staying in touch help you heal, or does it keep you stuck? If it feels confusing or painful, it’s perfectly okay to step back for now. If you’re meant to be friends later on, you can revisit it once you’ve both had some space to heal.