How Do I Set Boundaries Without Pushing Him Away?

Question: I want to set healthy boundaries, but I’m afraid he’ll think I don’t care. How can I be clear about what I need without hurting the relationship?

Alan’s Advice: Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting someone out—it’s about showing respect for yourself and the relationship. Real talk: if he gets upset just because you ask for space, time, or respect, that’s a problem, not a sign of love. 🚧

And yes, it’s okay to set boundaries around the physical side of your relationship. You get to decide what you’re comfortable with—no one else. Don’t let him pressure you into doing more than you think is right.

A healthy guy wants you to feel comfortable saying what you need. Be honest, but keep it simple.

Try saying, “I care about you, and this is something I need to feel good in our relationship.” If he cares about you, he’ll listen and want to honor your boundaries—no questions asked.

Don’t apologize for setting limits. You’re not being mean—you’re being clear. Boundaries actually help relationships last because they keep resentment and confusion out of the picture.

If he tries to guilt-trip you, ignore your needs, or make you feel bad for speaking up, take that seriously.

You deserve to feel safe and respected. Real love supports you, not pressures you. 🤟