How Do I Spot Red Flags Early?

Question: I’m afraid of missing warning signs when dating. What are some red flags I shouldn’t ignore?

Alan’s Advice: It’s easy to miss red flags, especially when you’re excited about someone new. But spotting them early on can save you A LOT of heartache. 💔

Watch out if he gets jealous for no reason or wants to know where you are all the time. Big red flag if he puts you down, even as a “joke,” or tries to make you feel guilty for seeing friends or family.

Pay attention if he’s secretive about his phone, money, or past. If he loses his temper easily or blames everyone else for his problems, don’t brush it off. Lying, gaslighting, or making you doubt your own memory is a huge warning sign.

Don’t ignore porn use, either. If he’s into porn or doesn’t see it as a problem, that’s a major red flag for a healthy relationship. 🚩

Another one: moving way too fast—talking about marriage, getting physical, or living together before marriage. That can feel flattering, but sometimes it’s a way to rush past your boundaries.

Bottom line: you should feel safe, respected, and able to be yourself. If your gut says something’s off, trust it. Red flags don’t fade—they get louder and harder to ignore the longer you stick around.