My Boyfriend Doesn’t Get Along With My Friends—What Should I Do?

Question: My friends and my boyfriend just don’t seem to click, and it’s causing tension. How should I handle this?

Alan’s Advice: This situation is more common than you’d think. Start by looking at what’s really happening. Are your friends being fair, or is your boyfriend being standoffish—or worse, a jerk?

If he’s rude, puts you down in front of your friends, or acts controlling, that’s a major red flag. You need someone who treats you—and your friends—with respect.

On the flip side, sometimes it’s just personalities that don’t mesh. Not everyone needs to be best buddies, but everyone should be kind.

Talk to both sides. Let your boyfriend know your friends matter, and let your friends know you care about your boyfriend. Ask for some patience and understanding.

Set clear boundaries if anyone crosses the line. If your boyfriend keeps causing drama or tries to isolate you, don’t ignore it.

Your real friends want what’s best for you. Trust your gut, and remember: respect goes both ways.

If this keeps being a problem, it might be time for a bigger conversation about your relationship. Ask yourself if this is the kind of partnership you want long-term.

Is he willing to grow and work on things with you—or is he more interested in controlling you or who you spend time with? If that’s the case, it’s definitely time to rethink the relationship.