Is It Bad That We Fight Sometimes?

Question: My boyfriend and I argue every so often, but we always make up. Should I be worried about these fights?

Alan’s Advice: Fighting once in a while doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is doomed or that you aren’t right for each other.

Every couple disagrees sometimes—it’s normal and part of being human. What really matters is how you handle those arguments. Are you both listening and trying to understand each other, or just yelling and trying to win? 📣

It’s a problem if fights get nasty, turn into name-calling, or leave you feeling scared or worthless. That’s not okay.

Healthy couples can talk things out, even when they’re mad. You should both feel safe to speak your mind without being attacked.

If you’re starting to get really angry, it can help to hit pause and cool down before saying something you’ll regret. And when it’s over, forgiveness is key. Don’t let old fights pile up or hold grudges—bitterness just builds walls between you.

Apologize when you mess up. Look for patterns: if you’re always fighting about the same thing, it might be time for a bigger talk to get to the root of the issue.

Bottom line: Some arguments are normal. How you treat each other during and after matters most. If fights leave you feeling hurt or unsafe, don’t ignore it. Real love means fighting fair, forgiving and going forward, and wanting to make things better—together. ❤️